Trusting God in the Wilderness
Disbelief, the antithesis of trust. It is a survival tactic of sorts and serves as a cushion. If you disbelieve and things go wrong, you’ve already prepared yourself for the disappointment. This along with distrusting God, having an I’ll believe it when I see it mentality, and impatience, are all survival tactics that can prolong your stay in the wilderness season of your life.
As stated in the book of Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Oftentimes, when you come out of a prolonged season of distress, oppression, and, or persecution, God gives you a season in the wilderness.
The wilderness, contrary to my belief before completing Media Alert, is not a bad thing. But it is a period of time and a set of circumstances that God uses to teach us to rely on Him. For example, if you relied on self-motivational quotes to get you through the previous season, God uses the wilderness to teach you to rely on His word and depend on Him totally in the wilderness. God also uses this time to allow you to grow into what He’s going to bless you with and where He is taking you.
The challenge then is getting out of survival mode and pulling yourself out of being in a constant state of fight or flight. These are day-to-day mentalities that don’t give much consideration for what God wants you to do.
For the Christian, living in survival mode can look like getting a good word from the LORD and then the enemy stealing that word and replacing it with thoughts of what could go wrong next. What follows is their reaction to those thoughts. As a result, they remain in a constant state of anxiety.
The children of Israel serve as a good example of this. They were faced with harsh working conditions and eventually the Pharaoh at the time issued an order to kill Israelite boys at birth only allowing the girls to survive because he was terrified of their increasing population. The psychological trauma they went through in Egypt was brought on by seeing things that they believed as potentially fatal or as having the ability to cause major physical harm to themselves or others. In Dialogue in Clinical Neuroscience, Jonathan E. Sherin and Charles B. Nemeroff note that events, which are frequently accompanied by profound fear, terror, and helplessness, might cause the development of and are necessary for the diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
It was not long before their helpless way of thinking caused them to mistrust God. This is demonstrated when the children of Israel inquire of Moses as to why he sent them to die in the wilderness rather than in a burial in Egypt. Soon after, they expressed their mistrust once more by saying, “If only they had died in Egypt by the LORD’S hand where they sat around pots of meat and ate.” When they remembered they could eat whatever they wanted in Egypt, they accused Moses of leading them into the desert so they would perish.
The enemy uses a similar tactic on us today. He influences us to murmur and complain over what we do not have. As a result, our wilderness season is prolonged, just as it was prolonged for the children of Israel.
The word murmured comes from the Hebrew word, Yalan which means to worry, grumble, complain, or fret. If you want to make it out of your wilderness season, murmuring, complaining, and rebelling is not the way to go. Coming up against leaders, as the children of Israel did to Moses and Aaron is not the way to go.
It is also important to be mindful of how we ask God why. The late Theologian and Pastor, R.C. Sproul said it best, “Remember how you ask that question. The word “why” can be an honest question or it can be an accusation.” Notice how the children of Israel asked why they were brought into the desert and assumed it was to die. Their question essentially accused God. Now, it is true that their accusatory nature may have been developed through the circumstances they faced in Egypt, and going into the wilderness only brought that out of them. But after God proved Himself to the children of Israel over and over again, growth and a maturing of attitude did not occur.
I would like to pose the following questions to conclude. How many times has God proven Himself to you? Has He not brought you out again and again?
Then do not grieve the Holy Spirit by murmuring and complaining like the children of Israel did. When you find yourself about to murmur and complain, replace those thoughts with when and how God brought you through in the past. Worshiping Him is another better alternative.
Learn from the Israelites and don’t accuse God with your whys. Instead, ask, God, what do you want me to learn from this situation? How should I view it? Am I missing the mark because of my point of view? How should I look at these circumstances? Is there something that you need me to do in the midst of this situation? Is there something that you want me to accomplish? God, how do you want me to grow from this?
Also, giving too much attention to the enemy is not the way to go. Yes, it’s true that 2 Corinthians 2:11 states that we are not unaware of satan’s schemes. But remember who is in control. Consider for a moment if you will Job and how the enemy had to ask for God’s permission to remove the hedge from his life. From this, we see that the devil can’t do anything he wants to do. Which insinuates that God allows things to happen to us. But what we must remember is that He allows it for a purpose. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 that God knows the plans He has for us. Plans to prosper us and not to harm us plans to give hope and a future. God is not in the business of doing things to us to harm us even though some circumstances seem harmful.
Trusting God in the wilderness requires us to ask God the right questions. It takes you out of having a pity party for yourself, and it gives you an attitude of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 puts it this way, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
The bible says be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Knowing God has allowed this thing to happen in your life, and knowing that God’s plan is to prosper you and not to harm you, as well as give you hope and a future, certainly should transform the way you look at circumstances. So find joy in the wilderness, knowing that God will provide for you and that you are no longer where you used to be.
Media Alert is finished. We have made it to the other side. To God be the glory.
It’s official!
As of August 5, 2021 myself and my team made it to the other side. Jesus calmed the storm and brought us through. To God be the glory!
Praise break time right?
Yet, when I should have felt elated all I could think about was what went wrong, what we could have done better and the precarious situation I’m still in. My rejoicing was short-lived. Before I knew it, I was solely focused on what the project was lacking and the uncertainty of the future.
Through my experience, I’ve tried to put into practice looking at the bigger picture.
Isaiah 14:13-14
You said in your heart, “I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”
To be sure, Satan wants the praise that belongs to God. He cannot stand when God gets any glory. Therefore he will try to steal your praise by tempting you to focus on what you don’t have, what you should have done, where you are and where you think you should be.
I implore you: Do not let the devil steal your joy, steal your praise or steal your happiness. Forget about what went wrong and where you think you should be by now.
Because as Ecclesiastes 3:1 states: There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.
God knows exactly where you are. Everything that happened, happened when and the way it was supposed to. Therefore clear out all the noise and be intentional about your praise to God.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Below is a link to an episode of Media Alert entitled ‘The Hope.’ I pray that it blesses you all:
Appreciating God’s Speed Bumps
I had set aside one major resource and that resource was time.
Luke 12:48
But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few. For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask much more.
I planned to use my time to work on the audio mixing, color correcting and color grading of Media Alert. When I made the decision someone rescheduled an interview for an article during the same time I set aside to edit. But I thought to myself
“That’ll just take 30 minutes out of my time.
I can handle that. No problem.”
But then another person requested three additional articles and I found myself having to use the time that I set aside to edit interviewing people. I was upset. But then God said
“You need to learn how to appreciate My speed bumps.“
Speed bumps reduce the speed of cars to promote safety for drivers and pedestrians. If you go over a speed bump too fast, you can potentially cause damage to your car. Finally, you’re not supposed to go around a speed bump as it is against the law.
God placed that speed bump there to get me to slow down. Although I was upset, He didn’t place it there to harm me but to prevent me from causing damage and to avoid accidents.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
God told me that Media Alert was going to make it. When I had the resource of time available, I took it upon myself to try to control how and when it was going to make it.
Thank God for His speed bumps.
The Other Side
I never thought I would find myself at the bodega getting a cigarette but there I was. Since January layoffs, unemployment and foreclosure had been looming overhead as I tried to shoot the last episodes of Media Alert.
Foreclosure was a frontier that I had not encountered in the past. But it was here. I likened the experience of losing my home to dying because it felt like I was losing everything. It made me think about what kind of life I was living and what I wanted to accomplish before I die. Death has a way of bringing to mind what matters most in life. It really changed my perspective on things. I came to the conclusion that all I wanted to do was God’s will. The only thing that came to mind was Media Alert.
Luke 8:22-25
One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, He fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.
The disciples went and woke Him, saying “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”
He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.
I was determined to finish Media Alert before I lost my home and make it to the other side. No matter what the surrounding circumstances looked like, no matter how the wind was blowing, no matter how much the waters raged God had already said Media is going to make it – And so myself and my team pressed on despite the circumstances and completed the season.
James 1:4
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.
Embrace Life’s Delays
It’s been an emotional roller coaster ever since this journey began. From freelancing with the Amsterdam News, to running the Online News and Entertainment series to the Hollywood Pitch Festival and finally to the production of Media Alert. It took years to get to this point. I found myself discussing with my fellow producers how things would be when we finally finished the web series. We were all tired and we eagerly anticipated the destination. Because I constantly dwelled on the finished product, the stress of it all crept up my back and expanded throughout my shoulders. It had been a long six years and it was beginning to physically wear on me. But then I realized something. I became so wrapped up in the destination that I neglected to revere the beauty of the journey. I can remember each one of those emotionally draining waiting periods. It was then that God did the most profound things and I grew the most spiritually. While working with the Amsterdam News I met public relations representative James Grant of James Grant PR and formed Ayana Productions an online News and Entertainment series with my mother. We covered red carpet events and interviewed various guests. I recall when we had actress Chantal Maurice on the show. Little did we know that we would meet an actor Kamel Goffin who would soon become the main character of our web series Media Alert by attending one of her film screenings. Then my god father Edison Sainsbury came on board as one of the producers. With his background in sound engineering as well as film and video production he filled a major void that we had. A few months later we picked up our other two phenomenal cast members Imani Nia Robinson and Fritz Jean. I recall wondering what the delay was during each one of those long drawn out periods and God opened up doors each and every time. Even when I didn’t understand what was happening, God was directing me to my destiny all along. So embrace life’s delays. God is not in the business of wasting time. Everything He is taking you through is for a purpose.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
When God says all things, He means all things. All of the setbacks, all of the vulnerability, all of the embarrassment, all of the anger, all of the sadness, all of the times you needed money but couldn’t make it, all of the time you think you lost, all the time you think you wasted and yes even LIFE’S DELAYS. God is working it together for your ultimate good. All of it is necessary for God’s plan for your life. He takes into consideration things that we would have overlooked had we been in control and He weighs out options that we wouldn’t even consider. He is a master planner and designer. All of it, every bit of it is a part of the plan.
Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry to on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
As per my prayer request in the very beginning, God had been directing me the entire time and will finish the good work He started with me just as He will with all of us.
Motivated By Love
We had three shoots scheduled for the end of September and it was a rough summer. All except for one attempt I made to make money was successful. My mother took an unexpected pay cut. Every reason to give up and wash my hands of the show flooded my mind. I wanted to open up and talk to someone besides my fellow Producers about it. But I felt that those that I even considered speaking to would never understand. So I kept my mouth shut. I kept things between my fellow Producers and God. I began to question why I was even putting myself through this kind of stress. Overwhelmed, one day I opened my bible to Matthew 27.
Matthew 27:39-44
Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!”
In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God,’” In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.
Here Jesus was on the cross suffering physically. Then people began to insult Him and ridicule Him which caused him to suffer emotionally. On top of that they made it clear that they didn’t believe in Him which only added to the emotional hurt. On the outside looking in one might believe that it just would have been easier for Him to come down off the cross to put an end to His humiliation, His hurt and their doubt. He was fully capable of doing so. Yet He remained on the cross because He knew it was absolutely necessary. He was the ultimate sacrifice.
2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
If He didn’t sacrifice Himself we would be lost forever. He was motivated by love. His strength motivated me to surge forward. This was God’s plan for my life and I knew it would be successful. I’m happy to say that we taped the three shows and we are now halfway through the season. There will be times where it seems like it would be easier to just give up. When that happens ask yourself what motivates you. Remember if God made this kind of sacrifice and endured such suffering for you, there should be no reason why you shouldn’t do what He asks of you.
God is the Ultimate Casting Director
June 26, 2017 this happened #TrustGod
June 26, 2017 this happened #TrustGod
Psalm 37:23
If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm.
We were approximately three weeks away from production. As the big day approached two things concerned my mother and I. The lack of money for the location and the lack of cast members. We decided to reach out to an actress who had been on Ayana Productions previously to fill the empty position. A week later to our dismay, she informed us that she would be unable to play the part. Now we were down to two weeks until production. It was crunch time, so we decided to write a script from scratch using the cast members that we had.
Finally when the scripts were written, I emailed each cast member a non-disclosure agreement. Once they signed it and sent it back, I emailed them the script. We were now down to a week until production. I was concerned about the booking of the location but my mother agreed to take care of that. Things were pretty calm for the first part of the week and then two days before production one of the cast members informed us that he had to work during production hours. We had to think fast. I remembered a few weeks before that someone I went to high school with posted a video of him acting on Facebook and he was pretty good. I let my mother watch the video and she thought we should reach out to him for the part. To our surprise he agreed with such short notice. I sent him a non-disclosure agreement, he sent it back right away and then I sent him the script.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
It turned out my old high school buddy worked out perfectly and is now a permanent cast member of the series. Although we didn’t see it at first, this is where God was leading us from the beginning. Yes, God is the ultimate casting director.
In the beginning God
I love views like this. It reminds me of how vast God is. There’s nothing He can’t handle. #NothingsTooHardForGod #SkyAsFarAsTheEyeCouldSee
Tashanta Snyder
When I was younger my mother used to say to me “God hung the stars on nothing. You think He can’t handle your problems?”
Each day that passed the weight of the production costs, the lack there of and the fact that we were losing time began to wear on me. I began to pray, but a little differently this time. Instead of focusing on the issues my mother and I faced, I focused on the heavens and the earth that God created. I opened up the first chapter of the book of Genesis, a very familiar text to most, but one certainly worth reading again when problems seem too much to handle.
Genesis 1:1
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
I began to meditate on the works of God’s hands. It then occurred to me the absurdity of our worries. The bible doesn’t give an explanation as to how God created the heavens and the earth. It just says that He did and that He began to speak things into existence. He created something out of nothing. Our issues are all so miniscule when compared to God. He could turn things around in an instant. I stopped worrying about how God was going to work everything out for us and focused on the fact that God was going to work everything out for us.
Psalm 8:3-4
When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
One Day At A Time
Don’t look at the end result. Look at God.
My mother and I knew that the vision that God gave to us would come to pass. It was just a matter of time. But with each passing day I was beginning to get impatient. God had given my mother and I this sitcom years ago. Since then, it’s been one emotional roller coaster with all the ups and downs. It was causing both of us to grow weary. The amount of time it took to get this far and the uncertainty of how much longer it would take to get things off the ground frustrated me personally. I was driving myself crazy trying to speculate when our big break was going to come. Sometimes I would get myself into trouble trying to rush the pre-production phase with sights of the end of this journey in view. But I couldn’t rush God’s plan. No one can. That’s when I decided to take things one day at a time. Each day I lay my concerns at God’s feet and ask God what He would have me to do today. Accomplishing what God wants me to accomplish on a daily basis makes my journey more joyful. Instead of trying to estimate when the completion of the project will be, I focus on God. At the end of each day I thank God for bringing my mother and I one day closer to the goal He has set for us.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-
Matthew 6:34
Loose Ends
It was the end of the year and I had successfully finished racking up enough finances to produce the sitcom. My mother and I eagerly worked on camera directions to ensure that there would be no guess work when it came to shooting the various scenes of the sitcom. But by the beginning of the second month tragedy struck. We lost a very close member of our family. What makes things worse is that she was planning a huge event in a few months. It made me question why God would allow such a thing to occur without allowing her to complete such a great feat. It began to play on my psyche in ways unimaginable. What I was once confident God wanted me to accomplish became an uncertainty. Questions ran through my mind. Will I be able to complete the production of this sitcom and what if I don’t live to see it completed? The anxiety that came upon me caused me to stop the pre-production work. A few weeks later, I was on the Long Island Rail Road on my way to work. I took a seat in front of a man who looked to be in his late 50’s. His collar was unbuttoned and he glistened from the sweat on his brow and upper lip. I overheard the conversation he was having on the phone. By the tone of his voice I could tell he was in distress.
“I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier…It’s just that I worked so hard for so many years, for this business…I have my family and I just don’t want to go out like that…But if I have to I will…So that’s it…That’s how long I have…63”
SIGH
“Okay.”
I began to hear the man whimper. My heart went out to him. It sounded like the person on the other end of the phone told him he only had until the age of 63 to live. Immediately unbeknownst to him, I began to pray for him. I went on that day with that man’s situation on my mind. It didn’t help my anxiety one bit. The pre-production work remained at a halt. A month later I had learned that my mother lost a friend of hers. He was having complications with his heart and he didn’t know whether God was going to deliver him out of his illness or not. He spoke of a great work he wanted to complete for God and asked for the prayers of the saints for strength and deliverance. But God also saw fit to bring him home. My mind immediately went back to that man on the train and my family member. One didn’t know death would come, the other didn’t know whether or not God would deliver him and one knew death was coming. But they all had plans. Obviously it wasn’t God’s plan and although I know God’s plan is perfect, all I could see was loose ends. I needed answers so I prayed.
Luke 22:42
Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine will be done.
God brought to mind how He sent His only begotten Son to this earth to die for the sins of mankind. He knew He was going to die and at a young age at that. I began to imagine how He must have felt.
1 Timothy 3:16
And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.
When Jesus Christ walked this earth He was 100% God and 100% man. Therefore He is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. I can only imagine that He was greatly concerned about His mother, His brother and whether or not He reached the people He needed to reach…Loose ends. But God made provisions for everything we feel is a loose end. Before He gave His life, He chose 12 disciples to continue to preach the gospel and when He rose from the dead, 500 people saw Him, reassuring them of the hope that lies beyond the grave. Because He rose we shall rise also. All these points helped me to trust God’s plan all the more. He tied up all loose ends while He walked this earth and He continues to tie up all of our loose ends even now.
Ayana Productions Up Close 